This past week I was lucky enough to be given 4 days off in a row so instead of sitting in Fraserburgh contemplating why all the buildings are grey and why the hell I didn’t leave long ago I thought I’d capitalize and see the worlds biggest and best arts festival. FRINGE BITCHES!
I’ll go day by day.
Now, I’m not sure how many of you know this, probably all since no random people read this bollocks, but I’m a huge fan of comedy and magic so being at fringe was unreal. Just walking around and chatting with strangers, getting loads of flyers for shows and seeing the city so alive was awesome. That being said, I hate tourists and they were in my way most of the time and I’m told that’s how I know Scotland is home.
This is how I did fringe: Find shows that are a) free and b) ones that I didn’t think I’d like. I know this sounds stupid and if you are heading to a show that you don’t think you will like you probably won’t like it but I’m so happy I did it this way. I went to see a female comedian because usually, in a non-sexist way, they suck. Most of them just bitch about being women, do a lot of whining and talk about their menstrual cycle. That and most can’t interact well in an audience but that’s just my analytical mind dissecting comedy. This woman was funny, clever, witty and could go off the cuff (and did so very well) when she wanted to. She loved chatting about one mans small balls. Desperation maybe? First show was a hit. Amazing.
Next I decided, based on a recommendation from my buddy Keith, to see Barry and Stuart who are two magicians from the UK. This was an unreal show. They way they set it up was pure brilliance. They initially gave the audience 3D style glasses but both with red lenses which confused everyone. BUT WAIT: there was a plan. These glasses were your pass to seeing the magic exposed for the first trick. They GAVE YOU THE OPTION to see how it was done and if you didn’t want to, you could just keep the glasses on and have it be a mystery. I obviously watched since I already knew the basics and just wondered if they were doing anything super new. This set up is unreal giving everyone the choice. After that the stuff they did was quick, edgy and very cool ways of doing “classics” (for the record, the argument “it’s a classic” is a piss poor argument) which was amazing to see. The show was called “Show & Tell” and was broken into 2 halves. The Show was obviously what I saw but if you wanted to, you could get tickets for The Tell where they exposed all the stuff they did in The Show. No other act offers something like that. Talk about building your own experience of shows is usually something you have in your head but this takes it to a whole new level. I’m going to stop now but I could go on all day.
Between shows I usually headed down to the BrewDog bar for a quick beer and to either drop off or pick up my sweater or just chilled around the Udderbelly (a giant upside down purple cow) or Pleasence to score free tickets. Later this night after the shows and stuff I headed back to BrewDog and was going to have a quick beer and an early night (about 12 by this time) since I had been up all night working the night before and I was almost dead. BUT no no, life doesn’t work like that. I started chatting to this cute girl at the bar (yeah I know. Girls in beer bars are so hot) after she told me she was Russian and took a drink to her friend I called her on it. She was from North Carolina. After a while chatting more with her and her friends, one of which was having a birthday, they invited me out to Sneaky Pete’s. I don’t say no when cute girls are involved so there I went. Now, I don’t fucking dance. I hate dancing and don’t like clubs so you know that this was a bad move for me. I’ve pretty much put together how my chat ups make girls think. This is it (in their heads)
Hey, he’s cute. Oh wow, funny too. Canadian (everyone likes Canadians apparently) Wow, he’s really funny and clever. Dude, Comic genius. Wow he’s also really smart.
As long as I can stay at a bar chatting, I have no issues but once you bring dancing into the equation I fail. So after about 20 minutes of me pretending I can dance (plus the music kinda sucked. I’d prefer some dubstep to he honest) her roommate fucks off with some guy and she says to me “sorry, you can’t stay with me anymore” (I tried I don’t have a place to stay bit but being in a BrewDog bar who I work for it isn’t that effective). A lapse in communication between Chris and I (who is a legend for letting me have his spare keys and a room for a few nights) didn’t help either.
So after a few good night kisses I headed back to BrewDog to “Dude, I thought you were in.” I had to explain how my club game is shit and how I don’t dance as well as the rest. A few hugs made it better. Such loving bar staff we have (quick note: Edinburgh staff are my favourite. Sorry Aberdeen, I just feel like we don’t know each other any more.) (quick note 2: Word needs to stop being so fucking American and let me CORRECT the spelling of words like favourite and colour permanently)
That’s day 1, an early 3:30 night.
No comments:
Post a Comment