May 17- Another Condition (real) Brewers Get

I have mentioned my cut up wrists that make me look slightly suicidal if someone were to look at my wrists. I've noticed that my wrists are getting more resistant to being so marked by the bags but I've found a new problem with those small, unnoticeable cuts. While mashing in water rises and gets on your arm. You then need to take the salts and throw them in with your hands. These salts dissolve and flow with the water that condenses on your arm and guess where they get to. My cuts. There is nothing like steam and salt to remind you where all your small cuts are. Same goes for caustic burns.

I've also noticed that from wearing welly's all the time I'm missing a ring of hair on my leg. While this doesn't hurt like being suddenly reminded of your caustic burns and wouldn't be noticeable to anyone unless its summer or your pants are off (I prefer being pants less. Boxers in public should be trendy any day now I hope) but its still there. Its funny because you look down and you just see hair, hair, hairless ring and then hair.

Yes, I felt anyone who wants to read this should know about my leg hair.

And why only real brewers? Because if your brew doesn't required to wear welly's while brewing you are probably pushing lots of buttons or working for some faceless shit brewery. Yeah, I said it.

May 16- Perks of the Job

As most of you know, I probably have the best job on the planet for me and a great job by any standards. I get loads of perks such as free beer, a fun work environment and to work with my hands. I'm part of a cool company who are growing very fast.

This is all stuff I've told you before. These are some of the perks you expect from a brewery and things we all want in our jobs (imagine if everyone gave out free beer to employees. life would be awesome). Free whisky is not something you would expect from a brewing job yet there it is. We get loads of barrels to use for aging our beers and when we open them, most have some product left. From these barrels I have bottles  of Ardbeg from 2003, Laphroaig from 2003, Jura from 1972 (yes, 39 years old) and bottles of Jura from 97.

I'd love to know how much money these cask strength single cask bottles would be worth but the distilleries are willing to just throw it out. I prefer to be the saviour of this whisky. It is much better suited in my stomach than on the ground.

In a way, I'm a hero.

I also happen to have the best job ever and being a hero is just part of the job. Win.

May 15- iPhones WORST Application

This is LLLLOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG overdue. I'm sorry but I've been busy, mostly with having wifi finally and just doing nothing on the internet. I've been doing a bit of work too.

If you know me, I love apple. The iPhone, iPod and computers are top of the line and are seriously innovative and amazing. That being said, this innovation could be the downfall of fun (with the exception of angry birds, everybody loves that one).

I'm talking about arguments. Think about it. If you are at a pub and someone asks a question you can easily look it up online, case closed. But what fun is that? Part of what makes a question good is the possibility of an argument over the correct answer. It gives you something to talk about.

What about if you forget a name and it keeps bugging you that you can remember it. You look it up and thats it. You lose the entire feeling of satisfaction you would have had from remembering the name, even if it were about 3 hours later when the topic had changed 30 times. It still feels better to remember.

Phones are great and do loads of good things but I don't think that in a pub, especially during arguments, it fits. I lost a bet the other day and now I owe someone a stout cake. I don't care about that but I do remember how fun having a brief argument about absolutely nothing was.

These are the little things you need to appreciate. Pint in hand, phone out of sight. The good old days.

May 14- Scotch Whisky Experience

I neglected to tell you about this in the Edinburgh post. This place is on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh and is a tour that details the production, variety and some flavours of whisky.

I decided to get on the tour to save my parents and sister the pain of having to sit through it while I'm nearly peeing my pants at the place. You are welcome.

If you have never been to the city and are going to go, this is a cool place to go because you will learn a lot about whisky in general. If you know something about whisky then its still worth the trip.

I didn't learn much while on the tour but this made it all worth while.

THE GREATEST ROOM ON EARTH

This collection is owned by Diageo (one of the 4 share holders in the company) and they house it here. I can't think of a better spot to have it than Scotland. It was a mans private collection of 3300 (give or take) bottles, all unopened. The oldest is from 1897 and the 2nd oldest is from 1902. Amazing.

May 13- Home

I know I blogged fairly recently about missing home and what my reasons were but I’ve learned something within the past few days that has made me miss it even more.

First off, I missed my cousin Brooke’s birthday on the 12^th and missed seeing her getting a pie in the face. Nothing like a kid getting a face full of whipped cream. Priceless.

Also, the other night my cousin Blake said to my uncle Bob (something along these lines. Sentences are made up to make sense):

Blake : “Dad, when is Brett coming home?”

UB: “In august, so 4 months from now.”

Blake: “Oh man, now I have to wait for 2 things”

UB: “What is the other thing you have to wait for?”

Blake: “Brent’s cottage”

To most of you, this might not seem like much but to me it means heaps. Brent’s cottage is probably the thing that Blake looks forward to the most, save maybe his birthday and Christmas. For me to rank right up there with that is pretty awesome and seems to confirm George’s prediction that when I get home I’ll be a mild celebrity for a few weeks.

This story made my want to get home sooner just to surprise him. I love shock value but I just can’t afford it. It also made me feel missed for the first time. Of course my parents, friends and other family miss me but when most people say it, it does sound mildly robotic.

See ya soon Blake!

May 12- Heist

If any of you are Dane Cook fans I’m sure you are familiar with his bit on being in a heist. I’ll tell you its true. I’d love to be in one.

I’m not sure what it is about watching movies with a clever well thought out bank robbery or similar plot but you just think to yourself “fuck yeah I’d do that” and dream of being in a super large con. At least I do.

Since I’ve discovered magic I’ve learned I’m more interested in scams, cons and gambling than in magic itself and while the people in magic are some of the coolest people I’ve met it seems that you get more “characters” in gambling. They are also more legendary and heavily influenced magic.

Some day, I want to be part of a con or heist. There, I’ve said it. Well I can’t be now since I’ve said it but its good to dream, eh?

May 11- Edinburgh Again

Following my night with Franzy and Chris I had curry for breakfast and a bit of whisky as well. After a bit of chillin with the 2 of them Franzy and I headed out to catch the bus. I was heading to Heriot-watt to learn about the brewing course and Franzy was going back to the pub. He’s a mad man.

When I got to Heriot-Watt I was lost for about 20 minutes and finally found a map. Once I reached the building no one was there. So I went for an hour walk around campus and found this.

What a great campus. I’m sold already.

I then went back to the offices because they were on lunch and most were still not there but I did find one person to talk to. I got an email and the booklet that outlines the courses we take. Looks cool and I clearly have an advantage over most who enter since I have been brewing for almost 2 months now full time.

I then headed to Cornelius to get a few beers. I stayed for 2 hours talking to Pete, who I apparently met at the BrewDog bar the night before. Thankfully we both forgot names so it wasn’t so bad but I still felt a bit retarded.  We had a good chat about beer, marketing, music and lots of other stuff. We also split 2 beers in the shop, which were both very good. The Gueze was awesome. Thanks Pete.

Then I got back to Chris’s flat with some fish and chips and a deep friend mars bar. It was killer (and might be literally killer in the future. Oh well). As chris went to work I just chilled out, watched a movie and had a beer. Chatted with my parents for a few hours and relaxed a bit. Something you rarely get to do when you travel unfortunately.

Awesome day, lovely city and good beers. I love Edinburgh and I look forward to moving there in a few years.

May 10- Stone Tap Takeover

Today, a few guys from Stone Brewing in California were over with loads of beer. They came in and took over every tap in the place. That’s right, no BrewDog on tap in our own pub. Awesome. As much as I love our beers I have had them so regularly I love trying new stuff (as you might have guessed from my epic beer list). It all started fairly calm. Got down to Edinburgh and met Chris at the station. We headed back to his place to drop my stuff off and then headed out for a walk in Hollyrood park. It was a beautiful day so we took advantage.

We then went into a cool little pub for an amazing burger and a pint. After that we headed out for a few more pints around the city before getting to the bar. When we did, it was packed.

Almost no where to stand and long lines for beer. We got a can of punk to share while we waited for the Stone stuff to come on. A total of 13 beers were there, 9 of which I hadn’t tried. I had a big task ahead. When they finally got on we waited a while and then got a round. It had begun. After about 2 beers Greg from stone got up and made a speech. It was very well done with lines like

“For too long we have been oppressed”

“The man has been telling us what is good”

with very little, if not no mention of beer itself. Beer geek gospel. Hilarious.

Then, as promised by James he jumped into the crowd. I was told I had to catch him and my job required me to help if need be. Now this might just be me but jumping into a crowd of slightly drunk beer geeks with pints in their hands is a bad idea. He lived.

Then we kept drinking. Chatted with Ian who is setting up Stone Europe and a few other people. Colin, a fellow Canadian, was introduced to me by James and we chatted for a long while. Turns out he is a Heriot-Watt Masters student so I felt I’d give him advice from a BrewDog perspective on how to make beer. High ABV, loads of hops and preferably a bit of dry hopping on top. I’m not sure he was on board but he is up for a trial next month so he will be soon.

Then we left with Franzy (look at his state) for a quick jack and coke and Jager shots at another pub before getting to Chris’s flat.

 Franzy passed out and I went to bed. Chris made a curry. It was a good breakfast the next morning.

All in all it was a great night and I’m sure there will be at least a few more coming up in the next 3.5 months.

May 9- 4 Months In

Well I was that far in about a week ago but I’ll do this now.

What I find typically happens when I’m not at school and working is that after four months, about this time, I start to dislike my job and want to go back to school. Selling fish sucked because of the fake smile you need to put on for customers, same thing with Brick plus you only get shitty free beer (sorry Matt, not your fault though) and Cameron’s doesn’t count since it was short lived and I did it while at school.

This job is entirely different. It might be due to the different country, even though it feels similar just with new people, or that I’m still romanticized by the experience as a whole but I’m not sick of it. I love my job. I work lots of hours, more than anyone else that I know actually (except a few of the guys here) and make less money. I know this is where I should be making money to pay of school but as long as I can break even I’ll be more than thrilled with it. I learn something new every day and each day is different. Sure, you have similar things to do but I’m making beer. The only person closer to their dream job than I am (I’ve realized my dream job is the Brew Pub brewer for some kick ass brewery) is A Shep. I’m a bit jealous but at the same time, I’m in Scotland.

I could honestly go with staying here and not coming back to school. I’d only be back to see friends and get wasted. I’ve lost my interest in school as of right now but one thing here that shocks me is the attitude towards life. “everyday is a school day” is easily a great quote and nearly sums up my experiences here.

So here’s to me and 4 months (make sure a good beer is in hand). Cheers!

Can’t wait for a Phoenix party MAC crowd.

May 8- Home Brewing

As most of you know and the rest of you can easily put together I love beer. This journey started with a sip of a Pilsner from Toronto, ON with all of my friends around. This brewery is located in the old train round house. If you haven’t figured it out yet, google it.

Now, this simple little sip has clearly shaped who I am and had a drastic influence on my life over the past 2 years. Not only do I love beer but I am obsessed by it.

The step between drinking beer and working for BrewDog was home brewing. If that sounds complicated, I brewed beer at home and you are dense.

I have also recently received the best give ever from my best friend Mike for my birthday and this is a brewing recipe calculator with all the bells and whistles. I’ve already toyed around with it a bit and have started to develop some beers I will be brewing when I get home.

I thought I’d ask if anyone out there want to do some brewing with me when I get home so you can see the process in action and make sense of all the blithering idiocy that spouts out when I talk beer.

I also thought I’d ask if you have any recommendations or ideas for beers I can try and brew. This will be fun for me and I can’t promise anything. If you have a NAME for a beer then I can try and brew a beer to fit it.

I plan on brewing lots next year so you all better be ready for lots of new flavours!

May 7- Share holder day

On Saturday we had a large number of the shareholders come to the brewery for a day of brewing, meetings (aka James talking and them asking questions), learning about the process, ingredients and future of the company.

When they got there we were just masing in a brew that they had decided on, a black IPA, and they all got to help us mash in. Most were down below pouring the malt in as well as coming up to chat with my while I shoveled in the brew. It was nice having so many people interested in your job and you getting to talk to them about it WHILE you are doing it, especially in the middle of nowhere (aka Fraserburgh). The level of interest was quite high, but this may mostly be because it is their beer or brcause its their money that helped push the brewery forward.

After that they went for a chat with Martin and Bowman on ingredients used and what they get. I believe a tasting was carried out but I was brewing so I’m not positive. They then saw the wort into the kettle and were walked through what we were doing here. They then went back for a few beers and burgers (which I was then signed up to cook). After that they got to shovel out the mash tun (saving me a job) and again, they wanted to jump in there. It was a bit shocking.

They then did a bunch more talks and Q&A with James and Martin before more tasting and the chance to buy beer. I was lucky enough (again) to help with the sales. My mental math has decreased a fair bit since I’ve stopped doing retail but it came back quickly.

I do need to point out that at no other co-op job would anyone be doing this stuff. You rarely get to see the reward for what you do (unless you get published) and you would probably hate to hear that someone needs the cancer drug you made. While you are happy there is a cure for example, you don’t want to have to share it.

And that is just another reason why this experience, and beer industry in general, is the place to be. I’m a bit biased.

May 6- Collaborations

Recently I’ve been thinking about how collaborations end up. While you get the odd one that ends up tasting amazing (which I think that Lost Dog will after the aging in rum casks. It tastes great already) the final product is usually a let down compared to what you may expect.

Case study- Bitch Please by BrewDog and Three Floyds

I’ll be honest; I’m a bit disappointed with this beer. It is over the top peaty, not much smokiness and is very medicinal (due to the peat) and is like drinking bog water I’ve been told by some (I’ve never drank bog water). While I don’t’ think its that bad I do think that based on the people involved and the usually stellar beer they make it was a weak effort. Both world-renowned breweries with a solid product line and some of the rarest beers in the world (End of History and Dark Lord come to mind) it was quite bad. I’ve also realized that this isn’t exclusive to beer.

Case study 2- The Travelling Wilbury’s

For those of you who know these guys you might undestand what I mean. Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, George Harrison and 2 others I can’t remember formed a band and made music. You have some of the best lyricists here and the songs mostly lack depth. The music of these individuals is far better than the collaboration (even though its not bad and I do like it). I might use George as the exception since I’m not a Beatles fan but that is just my opinion.

The difference is that in the brewing industry they are just trying crazy shit and seeing what works. The only loses will be their money but this is unlikely due to the extremely, and possibly over, dedicated group of beer geeks in the world. With music they need to make hits, sell records and make money for the label. With the Internet the way it is it’s hard to do this so you really need a bang on song/album/sex tape or whatever.

I never want to see a BrewDog sex tape.

May 5- Diet Update for May

Nom nom nom. Food.

Since moving into the flat I’ve started to do loads of cooking and even a bit of baking. Here is what my meals will be.

Breakfast

On work days this is usually just cereal or oatmeal as I have no time. Days off can be anything from cereal or oatmeal to pancakes or eggs (where the latter is more likely) since I do have time. Nothing too exciting.

Lunch

This is again work dependent. If I’m at work it is usually a PB Nutella and Banana sandwhich or maybe a salami sandwich with mustard mayo and cheese. This is for the high class days. Days off I’ll make anything from seafood to chicken but will usually also be a sandwich. There is just something about bread and filling that tastes like lunch time.

Dinner

This is usually not work dependent. I’ve been making a lot of pasta with friend veggies herbs and butter, rice with veggies and various sauces (salsa is very good on this) and with the option of beef or chicken thrown in. Nothing crazy, nothing hard but loads of flavour. This is the easiest way to cook. My veggies include sprouts, onion, peppers and garlic usually if you care.

Dessert

This is where things change from week to week. On days off this is usually a beer with some cheese and crackers or whatever food I cook (stout cake, cookies or, next week, deep fried bananas) and this is entirely feeling dependent. I’ll also share this with people at work just incase you thought I sat at home and ate 2 -dozen cookies or a full cake. I’m not that bad.

Anyone have suggestions for me on things I should try and make? Let me know.

May 4- A typical "weekend"

After about a month and a half, and with the common room empty of Jack and Keegan (sadly) and having finally settled in I’ve taken a new approach to my days off and they usually go like this. I also put "weekend" since it changes every week. I knew you would understand.

Day 1

This is the day I like to sleep in a bit (which for me is about 9 or 10 hours at most). I’ll get up, make chocolate chip pancakes and eat them while I watch a movie. After that I’ll usually get out and go for a run to keep in shape. I know I do a lot of physical work and move around for 11 hours a day at work but I still like going running. It’s nice to enjoy the weather we have been having. I’ll then usually get home, make a sandwich and watch another movie. I’m turning into a movie watcher and it’s awesome. It seems like my movie ADD is getting better. I’ll then usually get down to the brewery for 30 minutes to an hour and check my emails, usually only read them and not reply due to being lazy, and then update my blog (which has not been happening lately. Sorry). After that I’ll get home, make more food, thrown on another movie and have a few beers. It is very mellow. This is also the day when I bake cookies, stout cake or whatever other junk food I’m feeling like. It is so much better when you do it yourself.

Day 2

This is the day I usually try and sleep in a bit again but doesn’t usually happen since my body clock is great at hitting 8 hours on the dot. I’ll get up, make my food and then pop in another movie. This is my day off from exercise so I’ll try and keep everything to a healthy level. This day is pretty much the same as the last one with more movies, usually no beer, and early to bed.

I should note that any movie watching can be replaced with reading which is currently Derren Brown’s Tricks of the Mind and Japanese Whisky, Scotch Blend (Thanks to Chris).

Why can’t weekends at school be like this? Instead we have homework, projects and studying to do. I think we should try and develop a school where weekends are actually days off like a blend of kindergarten and university. Unigarten anyone?

May 3- Relationships

I’ll admit it. I do miss being in a relationship but probably not for the reasons you might expect. Most people say, typically jokingly since they can’t actually be honest with people, that they miss the sex. While this is a fairly solid reason to miss it is it isn’t the only awesome part of the whole thing.

What I miss the most is probably having someone to talk to at anytime about anything. In my case it’s typically about beer or some other idiotic rant I’m having but knowing that someone will listen to it is nice. I also like hearing about random shit and making up nonsensical conversations that can stretch out for much longer than necessary (like the topic of how a normal person becoming a prostitute or a junkie can be explained along the same lines of quantum mechanics and thermodynamics. The most useful either of those have been to me in my life was that conversation and it might be the last time). That was a long bracketed off section. Cool.

It is very possible that being in a new country, although settled in, is still quite strange and I do still feel a bit lonely but I’m not a psychologist so I’ll dismiss that. I do know that I’m not the only person who feels like this but I can understand how I’m a tough person to handle at times (from a relationship POV). Especially when I’m drunk or ready to get drunk. No one is perfect, especially my friend Rosemary who likes to think she is (zing), and I’m no exception.

May 2- Canadianisms

10 days over due

It has recent been brought to my attention that the following things are very Canadian. I’d like to share them with you so that you won’t be surprised if you travel and people laugh at it. Here we go..

Eh? Yeah, it is pretty standard but it’s the one that you will get the most. My response is usually along the lines of “we just liked the letter so much we made it into a word. I mean it makes up 50% of our countries name”. Gets a good laugh and is just fun. Give it a try.

Toque- A great Canadian word for, well, a toque. I much prefer it to beanie or “tea cozy” as it has been called before (by a really dense girl but still) because frankly toque’s rock. Rock your socks off actually. Go warm heads!

Aluminum- They say it over here differently and I’m not sure why. They are just lazy British punks I guess. They argue its more correct but they also spell it differently.

Sketchy- not used so much but is replaced by dodgy (which I’ve talked about) or “jakey”. I have no idea where “jakey” comes from but its not bad.

When I had this idea I had more examples but as time goes on I’ve forgotten them. I will update this with more at a later date. I promise.

May 1- Ghosts

This is long overdue (about 11 days)

I’m not sure why everyone has this big fear of ghosts. Sure they can be scary, haunt you and ruin your life but it is very unlikely. Wouldn’t it be sweet if you had a ghost live with you? It would be someone to hang out with all the time no matter when (since I’m fairly positive ghosts don’t sleep). They don’t’ take up space and if you ever need cash they can grab it for you. Win.

Just chillin on the couch, having a few beers with a ghost might be the single most awesome thing possible on earth. Well at home or at the pub, take you pick. It would be like having a best friend who hangs out with you all the time when you want and can go do ghost-y stuff when you are busy. Obviously this would be a craft beer and single malt drinking ghost in a perfect world but your average piss tank “Let’s have 199 Tennants” ghost would be ok too. Good conversations there I bet.

I’m also fairly sure that these are the things that I shouldn’t post online as everyone may be concerned for my mental stability at this point but I’ll be honest. This flat is empty most of the time and specifically, this past week. I’m on shift with Red, who is on vacation, and Franzy and Tobias are on nights. When I’m home they are away. Clearly this life is taking its toll on me but its nothing a cheeky bit of Ardbeg (amazing whisky if you care) can’t fix.

Boo.